oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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