I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize