He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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