highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
