How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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