in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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