In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
