I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You ruined the universe
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
