I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
