I like to think it a success when the cops are called
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So squirting runs in the family.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
