I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
