Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
