So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
