Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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