dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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