why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
