thus making me awesome and them whores
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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