I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My hand turned me down
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
