He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
