somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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