you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize