I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
