just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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