i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
cat food counts as protein by the way
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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