her vagine was all disorganized.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
this will be a night to untag.
She's the barista slut.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
