Pappa wants mamma naked
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
