what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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