What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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