the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
