It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
