i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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