You smell like stripper and shame
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
