How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
