My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
