peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
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Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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