so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's shark week go big or go home
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
