Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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