Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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