I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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