ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
