great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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