I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
When are your genitals available?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
