my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
