My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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