just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize