does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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