I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
