i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
and she was petting her beer can
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
