The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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