Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
