matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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