I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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