It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
