ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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