Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
