Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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