Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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