What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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