I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
