We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience