He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she pinky promised me she was 18
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...