So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
What changed your mind?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.