I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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