ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have post one night stand depression
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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