I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
