I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
