party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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