Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
