I think i peed on brittanys purse
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
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